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Techniques: How to Masturbate

Masturbation is how we learn what feels good and what does so that we can communicate that to a partner. It is how we understand our own pleasure. Girls often discover masturbation much later than boys and tend not to engage in it as frequently but it remains a very healthy part of a woman's sex life, whether alone or with a partner and within a relationship.

There are many women who have not experienced an orgasm and masturbation is really the best way to explore what will please you to the point of orgasm. And then you can tell that to a partner.

If you have never tried masturbation, or you want to do it in such a way that will be more pleasurable and satisfying then it has been in the past, then you might need to plan how and when to do it, rather than leave it to chance. For a start, you need to ensure that youíre going to have adequate time to yourself and that you won't be interrupted.

Here are some ideas of how you can begin:

Begin by taking a shower, or a long, luxurious, scented bath. Soap your body all over and enjoy touching your breasts and your genitals in particular. Dry yourself carefully, then rub your favourite lotion all over your body. Keep touching your body everywhere - it might be a good idea to stand in front of a mirror while you do it. This is your body Ė a body capable of giving you great pleasure Ė so enjoy looking at it and getting used to the sight and feel of it. As long as you know that you're in no danger of being disturbed, move to your bedroom. Make sure that it is warm and comfortable. Put on some relaxing music if you like. And just enjoy yourself. Lie down on your bed and use a mirror to look at your private and intimate places. Gently spread your labia: you may want to use a spot of lubrication. There are modern ones that increase the sensuouness of the occasion Ė such as Wet, Liquid Silk and Pjur. But if you donít have any lubrication, then use saliva. Try to tighten and relax the muscles at the base of the pelvis (see our article on Kegel exercises). If you now tighten and relax the muscles in rapid succession you will feel contractions of the kind that many women experience when having an orgasm. You might also notice a warm sensation in your abdomen. Try touching yourself all over your body, including the breasts and your genitals where you will quickly find the most sensitive spots. In particular, experiment near the opening of the vagina and clitoris and stimulate yourself in whatever way feels best. So long as you do not rush, and you are keeping relaxed, then your own fingers will automatically do the right thing and will move with the right amount of speed and intensity for you. Try to familiarise yourself with exactly how touching yourself makes you feel. Ignore everything around you. Just think about what is going on inside you, or fantasise about making love with someone you care for, or with a celebrity, or in some gorgeous and romantic place. While you touch yourself, you might like to look at something that turns you on - pictures, perhaps, a film; even a sexy book. Interestingly men and women differ somewhat is what they find arousing. Most men like graphic pictures of sexy women or of people having sex. Women are frequently much more turned on by words Ė so an erotic novel can often increase a womanís pleasure. If your sexual tension rises, keep going. If you have never previously masturbated to orgasm, you might suddenly feel tired and want to stop. Or you may be nervous about the build up of excitement in your body. Donít worry about this. Just take your time. And if you donít want to go on right now, then thatís fine. You can always try again another day. Eventually, the pleasant feelings will build up and youíll be comfortable with this and increasingly excited and you wonít want to stop. When that happens, you will almost certainly suddenly experience a huge rush of ecstatic feeling and you will bring yourself to orgasm. Women have described orgasms in vastly different ways: like scratching a persistent itch, like embers that burst into flames, like a wave building up and finally crashing onto the shore. Your first orgasm may feel like a blip or a blast, but the more you practice, the more variety you will experience. Don't worry if you don't come on your first try, keep practicing, or try some variations. For some women it is not enough to just use their fingers - they like to use sex aids as well. A vibrator may be useful, or you could try stimulating yourself with the hand spray when you are in the shower. Use your fingers at the same time.

Experiment, and you may well find a better way to turn yourself on!

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