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Advice Column Question & Answer

Subject: Lack of Sex



QUESTION:

I have been in my current relationship for about 3 1/2 years. My problem is that my partner has a problem with maintaining an erection. We have tried numerous things that you have mentioned on your show but nothing seems to work. etc. cock rings/ vibrators/ oils/ gels and nothing worked. He finally have gave in and went to the doctor who gave him a perscription and that is not even working. What should I do next because this is really damaging our relationship, I am at the point that I force myself to go to sleep when he comes over to avoid having sex with him. Please help..because I am starting to want to stray just for some sexual satisfaction.

REPLY:

Your partner needs to continue to explore options. If medication is not working, there are a couple of alternatives. One is a vacuum suction device. These are actual medical devices, not cheap sex store vacuum pumps. Another option is Papaverine, a drug that is injected directly into the penis, causing an instant erection. He could talk with his doctor about both of these options. Finally, I would say that I'm sure this is as frustrating and humiliating for him as it is for you, if not more so. Rather than avoiding the situation by falling asleep, talking about it would probably be more helpful. If he gets a sense that you are working on this problem together - i.e. it's not his fault - that will relieve some anxiety and you may suddenly find yourself with a nice, hard penis to play with.

- KT

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